Answers to frequent questions

What are your fees?

My fees are normally $100 for an hour session, and if your circumstances mean you cannot afford that, I am more than happy to discuss and agree what is ok for you.   You can pay by eftpos, cash or cheque.  (See also the question about Family Court below - where you can get six sessions of paid counselling). 

What experience of counselling do you have?

Over the last two years especially I have increasingly worked with individuals and couples facing different relationship difficulties and I am now on the Family Court list for counselling couples, whether de facto, married or in civil union.  About 75% of my work is now about relationships. 

During my years as a priest I was always involved in counselling work, even when I was a post-graduate theology student overseas.  After that time I worked for 7 years with Samaritans Wellington, including two as a director, and I provided on-site counselling support in the workplace during my time at KPMG.

Over the last seven years I have worked with a range of people referred to me by doctors, or otherwise been referred or come to me for help - relationship problems, stress, depression, ‘mid-life’ difficulties, anxiety, and other concerns (big and small). 

What Family Court counselling can we access through you?

I am on the Family Court list for couples who self-refer for counselling about their marriage, civil union or de facto relationship.

Any couple having problems with their relationship, even if you are not involved in any Family Court process, is entitled to access up to six sessions of free counselling.

If you think you would like to come to see me, you can do so at no cost, for up to six sessions.  To do this, you can either contact me directly, or download the following very simple request form from the Family Court website. 

• http://www.justice.govt.nz/courts/family-court/documents/forms/pdf/Form-FP-1.pdf (if you want to be referred specifically to me you need to add a note to that effect at the top of the form)

• http://www.justice.govt.nz/courts/family-court/what-family-court-does/counselling

What training have you had?

During my seven years of standard training and study for the priesthood, besides studying non-directive approaches to Counselling, I completed many courses that provided a broad foundation for a person-centred counselling, including: 

• Study of human behaviour and theories of personal development.
• Ethics – study of moral behaviour, conscience, guilt, emotions, freedom, habits.
• Philosophical psychology – how we know things.
• Marriage – love, relationships, divorce, working with couples.
• Sexuality – sexual development, addictive and ‘deviant’ behaviour.
• Addictive behaviour – alcohol, drugs, obsessive compulsive behaviour.
• Death, dying and grief.
• Pastoral practice – obligations of confidentiality and care.
• Social philosophy – life in NZ, racism, culture, community.

I also completed an additional four years of post-graduate theology, two in Rome and two in Paris, where I had a full French government scholarship for an Masters degree in Theology (MTh).  My understanding of life as it impacts on people in a counselling context was broadened by various specific study topics such as:

• Freud’s essay on “Melancholy and Grief”.
• Aspects of some modern psychoanalytical attachment theory, and the development of the sense of self.
• The role of ritual in social and personal crisis.  

And in the last five years I have done the following training in NLP:

• 18 days training NLP Practitioner
• 18 days Master Practitioner
• 18 days training assistant NLP Practitioner
• 9 days for qualification as a certified instructor of a 4-day course on relationships, communication and conflict called ‘Transforming Communication’. 

• Six days training, and participation in an on-going study group and supervision for Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for couples.  I have also done a lot of private study of this approach.  I am participate in two different peer supervision EFT learning groups that each meet monthly, as well as attend fortnightly on-line training with other NZ practitioners and our trainers in the US.   
• Successfully completed the 12-day Satir Transformational Systemic Therapy Training – Level 1.
• Two day workshop on Grief, Loss and Change.
• Completed a 5-day workshop in Self-Relations therapy, as well as done much private study of this modality.

Do you still go to church? 

A lot of people ask me this!  I don't have the faith I used to have and I am no longer a church-goer.  So I don't bring 'religion' into the counselling room.

I am also very open and non-judgemental about what others do or don't believe.  

Sometimes people who have a faith deliberately choose to come to me because of my church background, study and experience, hoping that I will have a good understanding of a Christian or faith perspective which many counsellors do not have - and it usually works pretty well.

Are you a member of a professional organisation?

I am a full member of the NZ Association of Counsellors (NZAC).

I am on the list of Family Court counsellors for Wellington.

I am also a contracted counsellor with Seed and with Stratos, specialist providers of workplace wellness services, employee assistance programmes (EAP); and an accredited executive coach and facilitator with the government Leadership Development Centre.

Do you subscribe to a code of professional ethics?

My work is carried out in accordance with the Codes of Ethics of the NZAC.

Do you receive regular supervision?

My membership of NZAC requires me to receive regular supervision of my counselling work from someone who is suitably experienced to provide supervision, guidance and professional support. 

What attitudes would you say you bring to your work?

When I am with my clients I try to work with:

• Acceptance and non-judgement - ‘everyone is a unique, valuable person…and life hurts for everyone, at some time’.
• Respect and kindness - people are often very hard on themselves, and are not effectively bringing kindness to themselves.
• An attitude of learning with you - ‘let’s see if we can discover how you behave as you do, and find other ways that are more helpful to you’.
• A willingness to challenge (gently) - and to help you discover some things that can be helpful to know about yourself and that you can change.
• A supportive sense of humour - ‘let’s try and keep some perspective on all this, even when life seems to be hurting a lot’.

How frequently and for how many sessions do you normally see clients?

Session frequency and number of sessions vary from client to client.  You are always in control of this.  We discuss it as we go, and you can decide what you prefer and can afford.

Often in the past people expected counselling to last a long time.  Now it is not uncommon for people deal with their main issue(s) very quickly and are able to ‘move on’ after only a couple or a few sessions.  This fits with the approach of what is known as 'brief-therapy'.  On occasion people's needs and progress means that they need more time than that, and the frequency of those sessions could vary from weekly initially, to fortnightly or monthly as they make the changes they want.   

What happens in the first session?

The first session includes the opportunity for us to decide whether we have a good fit for the work you want to do.  During the session I will ask you to tell me about yourself, what has prompted you to come to see me and what your goals from counselling are. 

If I judge that I am not the right person for you to work with, I will discuss options with you, including other sources of possible help. 
You also have the opportunity to get a feel for how I work, and you can decide whether or not to continue with further sessions.  

What about confidentiality?

Counsellors treat all communication with their clients as confidential, unless you give consent to particular information being disclosed. 

The Family Court couples' counselling is also private and confidential, and requires only a very brief report stating whether you wish to stay in the relationship or not. 

At times clients and client situations are discussed in my supervision or in peer-group training.  Supervisors and colleagues are equally ethically bound by their own professional body membership to protect anything that is shared in this confidential context.

An exception to this confidentiality would be if I thought a client was at risk of harming him or herself, or someone else.  I could then decide to talk to an appropriate other person.  Such a decision would be made as far as possible after seeking the client’s agreement, and after consultation with a supervisor.